


your heart for me to see

by mellerbee



Series: long time running - d/s verse [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub, Light Bondage, M/M, matt grzelcyk deserves the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 13:12:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18993325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellerbee/pseuds/mellerbee
Summary: “You know why I don’t scene a lot,” he bites his lip, pauses, considering. “But I know I need to.”Noel figures it would be rude to outright agree with him. “What would help you, then?”





	your heart for me to see

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to luna (kureally on tumblr) who sent the ask to begin with. i may have gotten a little bit out of control. 
> 
> this is a serenade to noel acciari, his biceps, and his heart that's bigger than his home state.
> 
> can you believe i got to start this relationship tag, too?
> 
> title from i hope that i don't fall in love with you by tom waits.

They had something going for a couple years, now. skirting around the possibility. They’d come close, a couple times, before Matt would either go to Charlie or go and let a stranger shove him around, and Noel would end up with Jake asleep on his shoulder or third wheel at some dive with Frankie and Austin. 

 

Playoffs were different. Playoffs in the  _ NHL _ were different. 

 

-

 

Matt was stubborn, and had already earned his reputation as being difficult to put down. And while Noel was technically his assigned playoff partner, they had never actually scened one-on-one. It was encouraged for subs to go down regularly, but not enforced. At least, he wouldn’t count it as  _ enforcing _ when Bergy pulled him aside after practice, in Columbus. Noel knew immediately what it was about.

 

“I know it’s not my business to ask, but I had to talk to you a minute.” he looked genuinely apologetic, which convinced Noel enough to not mention that yeah, you’re the alternate, it’s exactly your business. “About Matt―”

 

“You want me to convince him to sub?” 

 

“I’m not forcing you, but he’s―” he’s taking this loss about as bad as the rest of us are. He’s already hard enough on himself as is. He’s been teetering on the edge of drop for a couple days now. “He needs someone to trust, right now.” Patrice finishes. and that sums it up pretty well. In times like this, being on your own is rough.

 

-

 

Matt goes shockingly easily, when he asks him if he wants to come back to his hotel room for a bit. He leans against him on the walk back, almost unconsciously, like a plant towards light, and laughs at all of the bad jokes Noel throws his way in an attempt to lighten things. Noel is pretty sure he isn’t even aware of what’s being said, 90% of the time. 

 

When they finally get the two of them into the hotel room he guides Matt to the edge of the double bed, makes sure he’s sitting up on his own before he snags a water from the mini bar. Matt makes no move to get his shoes off, just swings his legs back and forth, eyes trained on the floor. 

 

Noel sits beside him when he hands him the water, nods toward it. “You gonna be able to drink that on your own?”

 

Matt blinks at him, slow, but his eyes are still bright and clear. “Thought I was here so you could put me down?”

 

Noel chucks his shoes toward the other side of the room, notices Matt unlacing his own after he notices. He doesn’t say anything, knows Matt hates feeling patronized like that. It’s why he doesn’t scene a lot, Noel realized a while back. While a lot of subs like being treated that way, a lot of doms thinking those mindsets are crucial to dynamic relationships, and he definitely understands it being annoying if it’s not what you want. “Not until we discuss things first.”

 

“Responsible.” 

 

“You know me.”

 

“When have you ever been responsible?” 

 

Noel gasps, faux offended. “I am with you.”

 

“You are.” Matt replies, but it’s quiet, and either it’s the light or he’s blushing. Noel has the sneaking thought that he wants to see how far down he blushes, but that’s for another time. 

 

“Are you, like, okay with this to begin with? I don’t want to push you.” Noel debates reaching for his hand, but thinks better of it. He’s going to let Matt take the lead here, he doesn’t want to  scare him off before he can get that nervous tension out of him.

 

“You know why I don’t scene a lot,” he bites his lip, pauses, considering. “But I know I need to.”

 

Noel figures it would be rude to outright agree with him. “What would help you, then?”

 

“I, uh, am not sure,” he definitely blushes, this time, but it’s more out of shame than anything else. Noel hates that, the shame. “No one ever wants to put me down to  _ help _ me.”

 

Noel knows he hates that fact too. “Nothing too sexual today, I think. and I don’t want to hurt you too much before the game tomorrow.” He figures setting his boundary first could help.

 

It doesn’t help at first, Matt just scrunches his face, looks over completely bewildered. “But what about you?”

 

“What do you―” he starts, before he realizes. Oh. “Domming you is all I want, right now.”

 

“Me too,” Matt tells him, a little shyly. “I mean, subbing for you is.”

 

“That’s good,” he smiles back in a way he hopes is encouraging, feeling slightly better about things from here. he runs through things in his head, safety measures, the time that they have. “I want to help you calm down, mostly. I could hold you down, if that’s something you want.”

 

“I like being held down,” Matt agrees, shifting so they’re facing each other. “I like being hurt. I like marks.”

 

Noel gives him a raised eyebrow at that. “We have a game tomorrow.” 

 

Matt pouts at that, but understands, it’s the playoffs. No extra risks could take place. “I’ll try and fight you,” he’s honest about it. “I’m not easy to put down.”

 

“No, and I knew that when I brought you back here. I want to help.”

 

Matt chews his lip for a moment, looking between his hands and Noel’s face. “Can you maybe, uh, tie me up?”

 

Noel considers that for a moment, considers what he has. He brought more than enough ties for the trip, and can always wear one again or borrow someone’s if he runs out. He can reach his suitcase from the bed, so he does, grabbing two and putting them down on the end table. Matt breaks into a grin when he realizes.

 

“You have a safeword?”

 

“Stoplights work, right?” Matt asks with a bit of a whine in his voice. 

 

It’s difficult for Noel to not roll his eyes at that. “Of course,” he drums his fingers on his leg a couple times, rolling things around in his mind. “I’m stopping with ‘no,’ too. No limits pushing today, not the first time. That’s what second and third times are for, right?” Matt flames red when he hears that and well. interesting. 

 

“For sure,” he shifts a little, looking impatient. “can we…?”

 

“You want to start now?” How easily Matt blushes has got to be Noel’s favorite thing so far. “Tell me your safewords first.”

 

“Red or no to stop, yellow to slow down, green if okay,” he recites dutifully.

 

Noel pushes him back onto the bed with one hand, not terribly hard, not something he couldn’t resist if he tried. Matt lets himself fall, a gasp knocked out of him from even something so simple. He’s worn-thin and exposed, everything seemingly catching him off guard. not uncomfortably, not yet, but Noel isn’t keen on risking anything. He leans over him, careful not to block too much space, runs a hand through his unruly hair. Matt leans into it, hums a little, and Noel has to fight to regain his composure.

 

“This okay?”

 

He hums again, eyes fluttering shut at the slightest touch. The tension seems to roll off of him in waves. “S’nice.” 

 

Not one to deny anything, Noel scritches through his hair a few more times, down to the nape of his neck. 

 

Matt takes a hiccuping breath after a while, air hitching on the way out. It concerns Noel enough to stop, which has Matt opening his eyes and blinking up at him, tears threatening to spill out.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

He gets a nod at first, before Matt corrects himself and gives a barely audible ‘yeah.’ “It’s a lot.”

 

“Good lot or bad lot?” either one, Noel understood.

 

“Good.” The shaky smile he got as well assured him the rest was alright, as well.

 

“I’m gonna start with your wrists, then.” Matt was already far enough under for questions to be a struggle, and he wanted him to be able to relax, because  _ keeping _ him down might prove the bigger issue here.

 

Grabbing for one of the ties on the side table, he looped it around each wrist, before bringing the ends up and tying them to the slats of the headboard. Noel tugged at it a couple times, slipped a finger between the cloth and skin to make sure it didn’t cut in. 

 

Matt tried his own hand at testing the give, pulling down sharply and twisting his wrists a few times, thrashing against the hold Noel had on him. 

 

Noel took his own cue and pressed back against him, dug his fingers in between the hard lines of his ribs until he stilled. “You want up or just testing me?” He just got a glare and an impatient huff in response. Still feeling combative, which meant Noel wasn’t doing his job well enough. He brought a hand up to trace along the line of Matt’s throat, only a suggestion of something, but there nonetheless. 

 

Regardless, Matt goes entirely limp at that, eyes fluttering shut. Oh, okay. That could work.

 

-

 

Just over forty minutes passes with them staying like that, Matt spread out underneath him, Noel alternating between the things he’s found out he likes. Running his hands through his hair, putting slight pressure on the line of his throat. The tension eventually leaves him completely, sinking into the mattress with deep sighs. It’s dangerous, how easily Noel could get used to this. Maybe he’s difficult to put down on most days, but with playoff exhaustion sinking in, he gives in like it’s nothing. 

 

Bringing him back up takes some time. He’s trusting and vulnerable like this, and Noel doesn’t want to startle him and ruin the calm they’ve established. He raises the volume in his voice slow and steady, is careful not to stop touching him altogether.

 

Most of what he tells him is nonsense, mismatched praise and gentle reassurances. At one point Matt’s eyes flutter back open, lips pursed like he’s thinking of something to say. Evidently it leaves his mind, because he ends up with his tongue sticking out just past his lips, which Noel can’t help but chuckle at. 

 

“You ready to come back, now?”

 

Matt doesn’t give him a verbal answer, but he does try to stretch, which is pretty impossible with his wrists tied and Noel sitting across his thighs.

 

Noel makes a vague noise of understanding, shifting so there’s no weight pressing him down. “Let’s get you up, yeah?” The ties are silky enough that the knots come undone without a struggle, freeing both Matt’s hands and Noel to soothe out the faint red marks the fabric left. 

 

Matt rolls his wrists after he’s let go, pulling his hands back to himself and sitting jerk upright once he’s able to. He looks at Noel for a long while, eyes clear but long enough it concerns Noel in the slightest, before a faint smile draws across his face. The sharp line between his shoulders is gone, the lines of tension he holds in his face smoothed out at last. “Thank you,” he tells him simply, voice raspy from disuse.

 

It can’t help but force a smile onto Noel’s face as well, letting out the last bit of tension even he didn’t know he was holding. 

 

-

 

“I want to kiss you.”

 

That gets Noel to blush, now. Yeah, he’s been close to Matt the whole time, but intimacy - that’s different. It’s what he wants too, he knows that much. “I could let you do that.”

 

“Can I try and stick my tongue through your tooth gap?” Matt grins at him, terribly proud of himself.

 

Holy shit. He’s actually going to be the death of him.

**Author's Note:**

> anyways, thank you for reading this incredibly soft and self-indulgent piece. 
> 
> twitter is thegoblinwrites and tumblr is mellerbees


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